Legacy

Making music as a way to say goodbye

"When my Grandma passed away it was a catalyst for me to start writing songs that could help people," says Jay Stansfield.

Here is a wonderful example of how we can bring our talents and who we are right up to the experience of the death of someone we love.  Being with the people we love as they die and actively participating in how we say goodbye to them makes death easier … Read more

My Deer, Phoenix Park.

Phoenix Park, Ireland, pic courtesy National Inventory of Architectural Heritage, Ireland.

That’s a full stop – a red stop sign with angled corners and a white line around it.  Resting here, my knees have buckled, in front of that sign you planted in my path. I have walked this space so confidently, happy to share what I know, to muck in. … Read more

A Mexican Cross to remember Chris

A Mexican Cross to remember Chris by, made better for its imperfections, as he is buried today.

Today a Mexican Cross to remember Chris by, because later this morning, Sydney time, his family who are dear to my heart will bury him. They are a large Catholic family just like the one I grew up in and now he, one of the six siblings, is gone. If … Read more

Saying goodbye with architecture

funeral ceremony centre, courtesy Hofman Dujardin Architects

Nearly 80,000 words later and close to completing my ‘life affirming book about death’, I’m back. With more ideas, challenges and stories of people’s experiences to share, as we talk about death. This is one: what if better architecture makes better goodbyes? Here’s something wonderful – thank you to the UK’s … Read more

Spiritual experiences around the time of death

Spiritual experiences around the time of death

Spiritual experiences around the time of death can be very powerful. Sometimes these alert others that someone they love has died.  My friend Carolyn Parfitt shares a story that is a good example of this. “My husband and I were away camping in Kakadu National Park and we were out … Read more

Stephen lives on

Stephen's Grandchildren

This week my friend Ellen’s deceased brother’s second grandchild was born. This little person was not just the physical expression of Stephen but there was something of his soul present as well. I felt the connection to Stephen even more strongly than the first time.

Do dostadning now

Peter Walsh - Let it Go

Australian-born Peter Walsh, who’s made it in LA with blessings from Oprah, has  written the ideal gem for those at that difficult time of dismantling their parents’ home. Even though Let It Go, like many of Walsh’s books, is about decluttering generally, it shows what a cleansing experience this can … Read more

Good Grief! It’s 2018 already…

  Hello everyone and welcome to Good Grief! 2018. After a beautiful holiday, starting with family – including two lively little grandsons – on the NSW south coast and then a cycle ride through New Zealand’s south island I’m back and excited about all the conversations and ideas that I’ll … Read more

For Julian

I wrote this goodbye to my brother’s farmhouse, when his family moved back into town in June 2016, a few years after his death. Glad to say, his brood have all moved forward and are building strong lives – guided, I’m guessing, by a strong sense of him. Happy Christmas … Read more

When expectations differ

Julie’s father passed away in August, 2014: “We had all gathered to be there with him when he died and we were ready to let him go. “He’d been married to my stepmom, Monica, a beautiful Italian Catholic, for about 35 years, but we are Jewish. The Jewish tradition is that … Read more