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Could an end of life doula help to midwife your death? 

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End of life doula Belinda Brooks

Could an end of life doula, or amicus mortis help to midwife your death?  ‘Doula’ is a Greek word for a woman who gives support, help, and advice to another woman during pregnancy and during and after birth. The word has now spread to cover the same style of care for someone who is dying.

Other expressions which cover support at the end of life are “midwife to the dying” and the Latin term “amicus mortis”, the friend of the dying.

Conversation with Jenny Briscoe-Hough about death

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Jenny Briscoe-Hough - courtesy Conversations ABC

When Jenny Briscoe-Hough brought back the idea to her Port Kembla community centre of starting their own not-for-profit funeral service, the idea resonated.She’d wondered whether the loyal stalwarts who attended the centre, seeking support and succour, would be offended. But she was overwhelmed by the way they embraced it. “I … Read more

Do dostadning now

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Peter Walsh - Let it Go

Australian-born Peter Walsh, who’s made it in LA with blessings from Oprah, has  written the ideal gem for those at that difficult time of dismantling their parents’ home. Even though Let It Go, like many of Walsh’s books, is about decluttering generally, it shows what a cleansing experience this can … Read more

When expectations differ

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Julie’s father passed away in August, 2014: “We had all gathered to be there with him when he died and we were ready to let him go. “He’d been married to my stepmom, Monica, a beautiful Italian Catholic, for about 35 years, but we are Jewish. The Jewish tradition is that … Read more

The Kiwi Coffin Club

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Kiwi Coffin Club - A group of rebellious, creative Kiwi seniors give death the finger, one crazy coffin at a time. Made with the support of NZ on Air.

Love the way these baby-boomers are rethinking the end, turning old ideas on their head, the way they always have – while making friends and tap-dancing.

The fig tree

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Troubled stories from recent deathbeds remind me of a sign at my daughters’ old school: “Beware falling pods!” The sign sat at the base of an enormous native fig tree and when those pods fell, they were like malevolent missiles. Dropping from a great height helped the pods to crack … Read more

Have you heard of a death doula?

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A story about the developing work of death doulas can be found on Page 90 in the October issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly, available now. The introduction: “There is a quiet, serene revolution going on in the way we farewell our loved ones. Caroline Baum meets the women, known as … Read more

What is a next-of-kin?

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Yesterday I signed on as a dear friend’s next-of-kin, through the NSW police program. My friend lives alone and registering her form with her local police station means if she’s involved in an accident or major incident, I’ll be informed, so will be able to support her. I’ll let her … Read more

Not a time to go it alone

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  Today,  a story of successful support from Dorothy Kamaker and her team for Sandra. Dorothy is one of those advocates we need more of: she helps people navigate our confusing modern health care system to get the style of care they want – whether minimal or all out, usually … Read more

Why did this happen?

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I spoke to Suzan last week. Hers is a disturbing but common story. I’m going to talk to palliative carers about what went wrong and report back on how to avoid this happening to you. When Suzan’s brother Frank was dying of a rare brain disease he was in an … Read more

Helen and Deirdre

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Patient advocate Dorothy Kamaker reports this note from the coalface in her advocacy work. “Deirdre wanted her 93-year-old mother Helen to be allowed to die. Helen had been three weeks in hospital with a terminal illness and was being “tortured” by futile treatments with no hope of recovery. For Deirdre, … Read more

Talking about the ‘D’ word.

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Just the sort of conversation we need: thought provoking discussion over a cup of tea. The program looks great and the speakers inspiring. North Sydney Council continues to provide community events (in Covid-19 safe times).  In Conversations – Death and Dying  The North Sydney Community Centre also hosted these great … Read more

The Conversation project

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The Conversation Project is dedicated to helping people talk about their wishes for end-of-life care. Statistics show that everything Ellen Goodman says about the American experience is the same in Australia. That is, we have the same gap between the death people say they want and the death they have. … Read more

Who needs to know?

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When someone dies who needs to be told? It can be hard to work this out, especially when you are grieving. It may not feel necessary and it may be the last thing on your mind. But letting the appropriate people know will stop them from sending unnecessary mail and … Read more

Patients need the truth at the end, says Jeanette

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Heather Wiseman interviews Jeanette Lacey for Palliative Care Australia. “In my experience, about 85 per cent of Intensive Care Unit patients who had chronic and complex health conditions had never considered that they might be terminal in nature. Often it was only when they came to intensive care with an … Read more